Three short Open Letters to...

...Andrea Leadson

Dear Andrea, if that’s your name,
  Or just another bogus claim,
Like Boris, Nige and Michael Gove,
  You’re tangled in the web you wove.
  So say the words of Walter Scott,
Now toodle pip, you’ve had your shot.
  Ironic; you campaigned to “Leave” —
That’s what you get when you deceive.

 

Yours,

Remain

 

... David Cameron

Dear David, What a great idea,
  Lose the vote then disappear;
I must say, I’ve known better men,
  Who’ve held the keys to Number Ten.
  So now it’s time to say goodbye,
And give Theresa May a try.
  Let’s hope that your successor can,
Show us that she’s the better man.

 

Yours,

Remain

 

... Theresa May

Dear Mrs May, it’s up to you,
  To do what no-one else could do;
I know that it's a thankless task,
  But don’t fuck up, that’s all I ask.
  And so to you it now befalls,
To grow a pair of hairy balls.
  Roll up your sleeves, don’t waste your chance,
And stick it to the Krauts! (And France).

 

Yours,

Remain

Inspiration

On Andrea Leadsom's withdrawal from the Conservative Party leadership contest and David Cameron's announcement that, following his final PM's Questions on Wednesday 13th July, he'll trundle on up to the palace and hand his resignation to Her Maj.